What to do after graduation (or while waiting for graduation)?

Prior to this post, I wrote a blog entry for HS students about my suggestions on how they should spend their summer vacation. My main point was summer vacation should not be boring – it must be fun and productive at the same time - an opportunity to improve and ultimately to strengthen our relationship with God. Now allow me to share (and suggest) how college students (and fresh graduates) should spend their summer vacation. Just a disclaimer, I am no expert in giving pieces of advice to people and I have no plans of being that kind of person – all I know is that we are in a constant change of seasons and that every season is a preparation and it should be enjoyed. Most of the young people today are afraid (or hesitant) to make serious decisions because they believe that they won’t enjoy life if we take it seriously. We watch (or believe) too much movies that we forget the excitement to see our own stories unfold before us. I often get the impression from people that I take life too seriously and they ask whether I’m still able to enjoy the life I have. I take life seriously and enjoyment is a serious issue for me. This blog is not about telling you to try living the kind of life that I have – this is (again) a humble attempt to convince you to take life seriously and start to make wise decisions regardless if you are in college or a fresh graduate like me. Learning to make wise decisions is an acquired trait – you have to make a deliberate effort to learn it. Allow me to share with you some of these “deliberate efforts”.

This is a lengthy one.

Seriously, take a rest. – We will be more productive if we learn the value of rest. Resting is not equivalent to inactivity and unproductivity – it’s an opportunity to focus/refocus on things that matter the most. Your form of rest may be just staying at home, going to the province, spending time with your family, setting a date with your closest friends, etc. Try to isolate yourself from the crowd – but don’t do it for too long. Living in isolation is not healthy. You may want to minimize your time in using your social media accounts. I’m not saying that it’s bad, we all have our own views on this, but if it takes most of your time in one day – I guess there’s something wrong. This is a personal confession: I realized that I spend so much time finding out what people are doing or what is happening with their lives rather than finding out what should be happening in my life. That’s why I’m planning to rest for two months. I don’t want to make decisions that will eventually give me a life without peace.

Let go of the unnecessary pressures. – I heard that someone said, “Pressure turns stones into diamonds.” However, there are certain pressures that are unnecessary. After graduation day, the hype of finishing college comes with this certain “pressure” translated into questions such as:

Ano na plano mo after graduation?

San ka na magtatrabaho?

Nag-apply ka na ba?

 Or statements such as:

yung pinsan mo may trabaho bago pa siya grumaduate.
Ang ideal is may work ka na a day after your graduation day.

I want to point out that the people who asked/mentioned these questions and or statements may have valid reasons. What I’m trying to say is that these questions and statements, regardless of the reasons, tend to pressure students ESPECIALLY if we are still undecided about our plans. Unnecessary pressures might cause a person to focus on the wrong things; thus, causing him to make the wrong decisions in life. If you still don’t know what you’re planning to do after college, that’s okay. Just admit that you still don’t know what to do. It pays to be honest – especially in times like this. Mature people will appreciate you for admitting it or even give you a good advice, immature people will question you or even mock you. Don’t be pressured by the idea that some of your friends/classmates are already employed (especially if you “think” that, that person didn’t perform well in class and yet lands in a good company – well this one is a character issue, you should feel happy for those people who finally get the opportunity despite their “low performance” in college). What if these unnecessary pressures are coming from my own family? Or from my parents? What should I do? That’s a tough question to answer and here’s my answer: Just face it.  One of the reasons why parents ask such questions is because they want to understand you (I’m speaking for my parents) so that they can support you. One of my pastors told me that parents only want to know that their children are safe and secured regardless if it’s a mess or a success. If the culture in your family is different, maybe they just miscommunicated important messages to you; still the principles are the same: they want you safe and secured. If you will allow unnecessary pressures to make the decisions for you, you will find yourself doing unnecessary things in life. You don’t have to graduate from college to learn this truth, just observe how your wrong mindsets turned into your worst mistakes.

Break bad habits. -  “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” I would like to add that it’s also a breeding ground for bad habits. Summer vacation is a perfect time to break bad habits simply because we have so much time. There’s an adage that talks about bad habits leading to a bad character trait and starts from entertaining a bad thought. Some of the bad habits that I’m referring to are: sleeping late, waking up late, having only 2 meals a day, too much drinking, smoking, too much partying, etc. these are some of the “minor” bad habits – there are other bad habits which have the power to really devalue and destroy one’s life and I’m quite sure that you know what I’m talking about. How do you identify a bad habit? When it causes you to make a series of bad decisions and when you begin to sacrifice the most important things in your life. Every broken bad habit is a step towards a more meaningful life – a life of substance. A bad habit is something that threatens your security as a person or even your worth as a person. How? Our bad habits have certain promises that are appealing to us. They give us counterfeit pleasure and security. If your bad habit becomes a person, he would either tell you this lie: You can only find pleasure and fulfillment in me. Or he would threaten you with this: Leave me and I’ll make sure you experience the worst. Some of us may think, “My bad habits are not as bad as you think, Matt.” Maybe for you but I’m sure it would ultimately lead you to make the bad decisions in life (or even the worst decisions in life) – either today or the days ahead. It’s not easy to break bad habits because it was not easy to form them because we gave them (bad habits) our consent. We chose to have them and give in to them. As I would always say, difficulties do not eliminate possibilities. When something is difficult to accomplish, it’s worth it to finish. Maybe you can start writing your bad habits.

Surround yourself with mature people. – Modesty aside, I gained my insights from talking to old and mature people. However, some mature people are not necessary old. When I say “old and mature people” I’m referring to a lot of people but primarily to parents, relatives, churchmates, etc. I find time to talk and ask questions to my parents such as: how did they manage to make a living, to provide for the family or the “what would you do” questions or sometimes I don’t have to ask, I just need to observe properly. I also spend time with a handful of my professors in college and teachers in HS and ask questions about career, experiences, beliefs, principles and even their love stories. Of course I would also spend time with my churchmates and our campus missionaries. Nothing beats a good company of people leading you to a life well lived. What’s the point? If you don’t have these kinds of people in your lives, it’s either you start looking or you start reconnecting. Reconnecting because sometimes we already have these kinds of people in our lives – it’s just that we fail to value them because we were distracted with “other things”. Another reason why you should surround yourself with mature people is that they will show you the things that really matter in life and you will be surprised that your job is just a tool to know what really matters in life.

Build your Character. – My workmates in the student council know that I am a person who has a bias for people who has a good character. Having a strong sense of integrity, responsibility, honor, honesty, and my personal favorite – humility are just some of the many good character traits that will not just allow you to land a decent job but also win loyal friends. My mentors would always tell me and remind me to build my character but not build on my character. I will explain the latter later. Building one’s character is important not because you will be remembered for it but because it will benefit the people around you. Yes, having a good character is not just for you but also for the people around you; to inspire and to bless the people around you. One of the lessons I learned from college is this: People are naturally attracted to people who have good character traits. My closest experience to having a real job is during my OJT. I guess it’s not much but I think this also (somehow) applies in the work place. If people see that you’re a man of your word; a man who takes full responsibility of his actions and decisions regardless they are his or the people under him; a man of honor and respect, who knows what to say and when to say it – they will respect you and eventually trust you. I had a chat with one of my ate’s in our political party about skills and character. I tried to verify whether what I believed in was true or I was just being idealistic. She told me that, in her opinion, they value skills and talents but they value character more. I’m not saying that experience and a well brushed resume no longer matters – they still do but they can only secure you an interview and not a job. What good is it for a man to have a good set of skills but not able to work with a team?  Now the second point: don’t build on your character or in other words, don’t put your security on your character. Truth is, no matter how good your character is – you’re still an imperfect person and is prone to committing a mistake thus causing some disappointment. Just a thought: a bad set of skills is risky in earning profit but a bad character is riskier in earning trust because you can’t buy it. The question now is: Where should you put your security? Down to my last point.

Have a relationship with Christ. ­ - Yes, this is a trap but this is not a joke. I know it’s easier to believe in the first points but this is harder to swallow. You know why? Because it involves God. Face it. We don’t want God to be involved in our lives. We would always want to live our own lives. We want it our way. We don’t want God to have a say on our habits. We don’t want Him to have a say on how we conduct our lives. We don’t want Him to know our plans. But will you believe me that the earlier points are all derived from the Bible? Rest is God’s idea. God allows us to experience certain pressures but somehow protects us from it. Bad habits are not from God because He would want you to enjoy life and experience it to the fullest. Surrounding yourself with a good company is God’s idea. God is more concerned with the condition of your heart rather than the condition of your resume or performance. God is concerned about you. All these principles are found in the Bible. Living a new life (and I’m saying a really new life) starts when we live our lives for Christ. It doesn’t start when we merely appreciate what is good and learn to value the things that matter most; it starts when we realize that we matter to God – that despite the truth that we are flawed and sinful beyond explanation. Fulfillment, enjoyment and eternal pleasure are all found in Christ – everything else is just based on shifting sands. Don’t focus on mere counterfeits but rather on what is real, essential and eternal. Remember, everything starts here – in having a relationship with Christ. 

HOW (NOT) TO WASTE YOUR SUMMER VACATION: HS Edition

Summer just started. People already started posting their photos using their social media accounts about how "awesome" or how boring their summer vacation is. Regardless if your summer is exciting or boring, and since you have so much time scrolling up and down to see what's latest on FB or Twitter, please allow me to relieve you from your boredom or add some more excitement to your vacation for a few minutes.

Next to Christmas Vacation, Summer vacation is my favorite for so many reasons. I get to rest, travel, read, etc. I remember my summer vacation when I was in HS. We would always play Basketball every night and would have sleepovers afterwards. Nobody asked if we wanted to watch movies or go to the mall because we had no allowance. We were not into movie marathons yet. If we have some extra money, we would play DOTA for a minimum of 4 hours. Yes, I was addicted to playing DOTA but I stopped after I computed the money I spent for playing it. So I installed one on my laptop and told myself: Maglalaro lang ako pag libre. True enough my friends would always treat me for a game or two. I shared this because I want you to know that I had a very normal HS Summer Vacation. It was fun until I realized that I needed to be productive. I don't know how it happened. After all those sleepovers and DOTA games during summer, I felt like I had to make use of this vacation to improve or at least to be healthy. This was when I was in 1st year HS. Now allow me to share with you some of the things that you might want to consider doing this summer. 

Wake up early in the morning. - I don't know the physical benefits of waking up early in the morning but all I know is that being productive starts in waking up early. Plus, it's a way to learn some self-discipline. You may say that you have been waking up early in the morning for the last 10 months and that you may want to experience just lying in bed for an additional of 2 hours. First, when I said early in the morning, I was not referring to 5:30am. Second, aside from plain laziness, the reason why you don't want to wake up early is because you don't want to go to school BUT if you know that you would do something exciting or different that day - would you wake up a bit earlier? Remember that day when your teachers announced that you will have a retreat or a field trip? Somehow it was not burdensome for you to wake up early because there was something different for you to do. The same thing with summer vacation, look for something exciting to do. Jog. Play Basketball. Swim. Eat a decent breakfast. Not excited? Wait until you get older. You'll realize that not all simple things are boring. 

Read bookS. - Of course I'm not referring to text books (note the capital "s"). I'm referring to good books. A novel. An inspirational book. Go to your parents and ask for money to buy a book and hit the nearest book sale. Ask a friend who is a wide reader to help you find a good book to read. If you don't have the money to buy - you can always borrow. COMMIT TO FINISH THE BOOK. The first book that I was able to finish was Wild at Heart. Finishing a book feels good. It doesn't have to be a thick book or a famous book. I suggest you try to read Max Lucado's books. His writing is easy to understand and very conversational. Maybe you're not the type of person who reads books but someday you'll have to read a book and I suggest that you start now. It's a good investment. 

Exercise. Jog. Run. Push up. Play a sport. - I started to jog from our house to our school when I was in 1st year HS. My motive was to improve in my sport which was basketball. I wanted to run faster and play longer. Another motive was I wanted to have some sense of self-discipline. I wanted to be productive. You will find out that the attention you give in exercising and playing a sport would be rewarded - either with a healthy mind or a healthy body. Having a healthy body is also an investment. 

Spend some time at home.  - Yes, I'm guilty of this. My mother knows how much time I have spent outside our house and how many times I got scolded for spending too much time outside. For some of you who find it easy to stay at home, maybe this is not for you. Why should you spend some time at home? Because someday you would want to stay at home but you will find yourself unable to do so because of the commitments you have outside. Take it from me (and from all my college friends). There will come a time that there are just so many things to do - and you would just want to go home. You don't have to experience all the busyness to realize the importance of staying at home. 

Build your Character. - Summer vacation is a good opportunity to think about what you value the most as a young person. A bit serious for a HS student? I don't think so. Students who lack seriousness during their HS years sometimes lack the maturity when they enter college. It's not a generalization. I suggested that you wake up early, read a book, exercise and stay at home because these are efforts to build your character. Waking up early will teach you self-discipline. Reading a book will help you develop your thinking skills. Exercising will help you take care of your body. Staying at home will help you value rest and not miss out on the lessons given by your parents. All these have a long term effect on us. 

Develop a habit of Prayer and Bible reading.  - "There you go again with your spiritual stuff, Matt." I cannot find any good reason why I shouldn’t include this on the list. More than self-improvement, character-building, spending time at home - having a strong relationship with Jesus must be your topmost priority. Summer vacation is not just an opportunity to improve on our physical, social, mental, intellectual aspects - it's an opportunity to know God more. When you get to realize the importance of having a strong and personal relationship with Jesus, you'll be surprised with how much change He can bring into your life - inside and out.

You are just a summer a way to the purpose that God has prepared you for. Choose to make this summer different from others.

1 Timothy 4:12

12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.